Home of the free, land of the nutjobs.

OK, so maybe not ALL nutjobs. But like with anything, there are the radicals. I had the opportunity to play paintball this weekend (a beautiful Fall Long Island Fall day) and while it was fun, it sure wasn't the full-throttle adrenaline rush I remembered (chalk it up to a 16 year playing gap).

The first thing I saw as we meandered down the bumpy dirt road into Cousin's Coram paintball field, was several guys dressed in full camo gear, spraying themselves down with some kind of aerosol and applying facepaint. When the realization hit that were heading in to join the public field and they may just be there as well - panic set in. "I got a bad feeling about this" I murmur to my bud Jason in my best Han Solo (actually more "Ham Salad" from Hardware Wars...but I digress).

After waiting for 1/2 hour for Cesar and Patti to show up, we made the decision to stay and play. We "manned-up," plopped down our $54 for a single-shot CO2-charged gun, 500 rounds of blue paintballs and a sweaty facemask (BTW, not my sweat). After another $7.50 for a camo jumpsuit, we were ready to stare down death. Or at least a bad welt and maybe a bruise or two.

Now I myself have been guilty from time-to-time of tripping into the nutjob puddle. Back in the day if someone dared compare Windows to the Mac OS (7,8 9, or 10) I'd be all over them like a black turtleneck, but this doesn't compare to the Paintball Elite. The weekend warriors fashioning their own private pigment-based war upon each other is something to behold. While we experienced a genuinely solid group of people just looking to have fun, there were some standouts:

• Ghillie Suit. Yes, head-to-toe plumage. This guy was ready to camp and snipe. No survivors
• The Desert Storm homage. This guy had an M16-styled gun as well as a sidearm. All in desert camo. I think he was like 20. Which would make him like Three when Desert Storm was happening.
• The Ref. This guy took the cake, a nice guy, for sure, but we were informed that if "I was to come up on you, you'd never hear it, " and "My gun beats those things, forget it, It would go through you to the other guy." I assume (hope) he was speaking figuratively.
• The General. Now this guy was actually cool and helpful. The second round, we ended up on his team and he not only gave us the lay of the course (pointing out strategic bunkers and vantage points) but directed his "troops" towards a winning round. I caught a glimpse of him several times and he was standing in the middle of the field, just out of range of the paint, shooting directions: "GUYS UP FRONT...MOVE UP!" - And it worked. Cuz we kicked ass.
  

So despite the cast of colorful characters (and I assume, in no small way, because of them) we had fun. I bagged me some enemies (4 in all), took 3 head shots and one finger/shrapnel chest wound. All kills, but I didn't care, I got to roll in the mud and leaves and play war. It's been a while since I was able to act like a kid and just play outside.

We've already planned to do it again (this time on a private field) and I think I'll pick up my own mask for next time. Cesar's already looking for a semi-auto gun and he'll probably buy it shortly. Man, I'm sounding like a nutjob already.

Just saw "The Mist" and HOLY SHIT

Jesus. That's all I can say. My jaw was on the floor for the last 5 minutes of the film. Not only that, but I have to say it was one of the most disturbing films I've ever seen. The ending just shocked me. Period.

I'm a huge King fan, I enjoy his books and the TV and movie adaptations of his work. The best ones are the ones that become a work of art in and of themselves: "Carrie," "Christine," "The Shining," you get the picture. I read "The Mist" maybe 20 years ago; then in college was fortunate enough to stumble across an Audio Play in my Radio Production course. So needless to say I was incredibly anxious to see this film.

Overall I liked the film, it had some great tense moments and some surprisingly good performances. Thomas Jane did an excellent job, especially with the tense scenes as they pertain to his son. His performance (in spots) was very reminiscent of Mel Gibson's particularly in Lethal Weapon (the suicide attempt scene) and Mad Max (the family murder scene)— which BTW was completely ripped off in "The Punisher" which also starred Thomas Jane. Just an interesting connection for you.

The standout, though, I have to say is Marcia Gay Harden. Holy shit was she good - the litmus test for me on a performance is that if the actress can make you stop seeing her and only see the character - you've got me. Her character Ms. Carmody is a religious zealot and you hate her. Flat out hate her. So much so that if you saw Marcia Gay Harden on line at the supermarket, you may stop and think twice about asking to be her friend (see the movie, you'll see what I mean).

All-n-all the movie stayed pretty true to the novella. There where many scenes that where direct pulls. Of course, they added several characters and removed some other non-relevant happenings as movies must do for pacing, etc. The big difference, though was the ending. I will not ruin it for anyone, because I want you to truly experience it full force. All I can say is that if you have kids, especially young ones, hug them tight when you get home. I have 2 boys myself and the first thing I did when I walked int he door was give them a kiss.

So you may hate the ending, you may love it. But one thing is for sure: this film NEVER once pulls a punch. If you are looking for a Hollywood ending you won't find it here.

In terms of the fun stuff, you'll see a lot of nods in the film. Thomas Jane's character, David Drayton, is an artist who paints movie posters. In his studio you'll "John Carpenter's The Thing" - which I suspect is a nod to "John Carpenter's The Fog" which shares a common foe with "The Mist." Also, King fans will cream over the current painting that David is completing: none other than Roland of Gilead, the Gunslinger. Is this hinting at a movie version of the Gunslinger? One can only hope. There 's a serious "Alien" and "Aliens" nod in the pharmacy scene as well.

So to summarize, "The Mist" is a solid tense film with an ending that will unsettle you. There are plenty of jumps and scares to go around and even a "cheer" - although on hind site, it's rather inappropriate.

OK, gotta go. Paintball tomorrow. :)

The planned eradication of Thanksgiving

It seems that the retail establishment in America is systematically trying to eradicate Thanksgiving. Christmas decorations now go up the day after Halloween.

My thoughts on this are simple. Since the only industries that makes out on Thanksgiving are the poultry farmers and the potato magnates - the entire holiday gets shat on. Unfortunately, they don't have a strong enough lobby to have Congress pass laws prohibiting Christmas decorations from legally being hung until AFTER Thanksgiving.

Have you ever scene a Thanksgiving movie? "Nightmare before Christmas" fits the bill from a time perspective, but doesn't have enough Turkey in it. Other than that, nothin'. I think there's a Charlie Brown special and we do get a parade - so that's good. But it isn't enough for me.

All I ask is could you please NOT hang your holiday lights, blow up Santa and enormous snow globe until after Thanksgiving. Can the stores not have Christmas stuff out while I'm buying discount Halloween candy? Is it too much to ask?

Viva La Turkey. Solidarity.

Nuff 'said. Goodnight.